"fish-paste", rudolph, and a late night granola bar.

i have always heard from people that to each life, there is an individual soundtrack. this statement has always rang true in my own life, but more recently i find myself completely submerged in a variety of different music to fuel this new chapter. the re-discovery of some of my favorite artists (ie. sia, sara barielles, etc.) and discovery of new musicians whom i admire. so many good independents in the midst of all this commercial "taylor swifty" shit they're churning out. makes me happy that there is still some creativity and true talent in the world.

side-bar: cant wait for sara b's new album. "king of anything" is fantastic. sia's album is like crack. not even kidding. cannot get myself to stop listening to it.

i cannot bring myself to believe its already the middle of july. i have people asking me about the end of high school and freshman year college stuff, and it still all feels so surreal. the year flew by, and just everyone said, now summer is as well. but in my true form, i have crammed every possible thing i could into the small amount of time i have in southern MN. since graduating, i have had a grad party (completely because of my parents..they did it all and i take no credit. it was fabulous. and i loved it!), rehearsed and run a children's show, went to chicago for independence day weekend, gone to texas to visit mother and worked whenever possible on top of it all. i get restless when i just sit around :P and besides, this will prepare me for my later, "starving artist" lifestyle, where i wont have time to do anything but work and run.

life as of recent: lots of trips. in and out of trains and planes. i'm currently visiting my mother and family in san antonio, texas. this is a marvelous spot for them. they seem so happy and this really seems to be there home. i became aware when i walked in the door, that it was no longer a place that i lived too...but i was happy nontheless. this is a place for her and her family to recuperate and prosper. des moines will be my home. and i am ready to have a place to call my own.

i've really missed having hannah and geo in my life. which i really didn't realize till i got down here and saw them. they grow so fast, and have little tans and no accents yet (thank god). geo continues to use his spongebob terminology, grumbling "aww, tartar sauce" or "fish-paste!" when he doesn't get his way. his legs and arms are still as skinny as ever and his trademark adorable expressions continue to woo the masses at the morris residence. hannah is growing up. and it makes me sad, because deep down she's still my chubby, little asian baby. its gonna be hard to say goodbye this time. but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

sea world san antonio today. almost took out my whole family. money, people, sticky humid heat, mushy whale shows, more heat, more money, fast rides, bitchin' wave pool, money, lots of sweat. everyone concluded at the end that its "something we've now checked off the life list". and i look like rudolph. wearing sunscreen isn't sounding so bad now...

college is approaching. and i seriously cant wait. the summer continues to fly and i'm taking in every moment.

feeling very blessed this evening. and will right back soon.

night my loves. adios from tehass.

xo:mwah. kyle

another one taken too soon...

my heart goes out to my close friend laryssa schoeck and her family right now, who unexpectedly lost a member of their family.

i hadn't ever had a conversation with laryssa's sister, but i know that she and laryssa shared a mutual appreciation for each other and their talents. it was so obvious the love she had for her family. she left behind a husband, baby girl, sister, mother, father and many friends.

all of my love, thoughts and prayers go to anyone who is being affected by this.

laryssa and family - i love you all so much and will do anything i can to ease the pain.

breanna - goodbye gorgeous.

you left us too soon.

and you will be missed.

this time baby, i'll be.....eccentric.

this picture basically sums up an everyday outfit for me. loose shirt (with a usual, but possible cardigan), tight pants, simple shoes, and big hair. once again proving that my edie obsession is alive and well, lets get going..

life is fabulous at the moment. i am continuing to be the eccentric friend you all know and love. spending way to much on clothes, coffees, and getting out to party as much as i can. i really am excited for college and cant wait to be in des moines. i went to orientation this past weekend with my mother, and had THE MOST fun i have had in a long time. i couldn't even remember the last time i really laughed that hard. i met tons of people and this all proved to me that i was ready to go. ready to take theater seriously, and get my ass kicked in some dance classes. [sidebar...i met a fabulous individual at drake orientation..he loves lady gaga as much, if not more than i do. he sang bad romance at the karaoke party and me and about 4-5 people did the dance in the background. made sure to make a fool of myself right away. i am in theater after all..] many more funny stories to be told about orientation, but too many to list them all here. call me or ask me the next time we spend time together to find out. there are some doozies.

mother was up from san antonio last week. it was wonderful to see her and know that we are right where we should be. arguing. she loved drake and is ready for me to venture off to the next part of life. i have been told lately, a lot, that i am adam lambert, a model and eccentric (heard the MOST often) and i just feel really great. its an accomplishment to be finished with high school, especially coming from the person who thought their D+ in German and multiple Cs in math would keep them from going to a good school. i have never been more excited about going somewhere in my whole life, can't wait to emerse myself into a world of passionate, crazy people. and honestly REALLY put some effort into my craft. i have so much to learn and am so excited to do it. break me down and build me back up.

there are so many people to see before summer ends. so many places to go. so much money to save [and spend]. and not near enough time. i want the time to stay. but i want it to go at the same time.

i promised my dear friend linnea that i would blog more now that i have time. and expect the same from her. more people should do this. in her words, "its such therapy." and in mine "you really feel like carrie bradshaw."

love you all.

xo:mwah. kyle

my fascination for edie sedgwick grows with every passing day. i continue to learn more about her and become more entranced, confused, bewildered and ultimately saddened by her story. i was out for coffee with my dear friend linnea yesterday. i told her she had a qualities just like edie's: long legs, skinny, with a fashion sense, big beautiful eyes and a pretty face. linnea is reading this and cringing at all the compliments i just gave her. suck it up linnea, because you deserve EVERY one. it was marvelous to catch up with her yesterday, even if only for an hour. we are those two people who can fill up a time together, after months of not seeing eachother, and its like not a moment has passed.

well, i had said that my biographic blog post was coming, and as i lay here in Edina at my aunts house, im feeling that the time has come.

okay, well rewinding for awhile...i just want to re-emphasize what an amazing year this has been for me. filled with new friends, fashion, moves, recording studios, and more fabulous opportunities than an 18 year old from Minnesota should be entitled to. my singer actor class in the cities has given me more connections than i can even comprehend sometimes. i went to a play last night and knew over half the cast, just because i've performed with them at one time or another, or i had met them. so interesting. prelude got me into a recording studio this year, which still feels surreal to me. i got accepted into my top choice school, and they gave me lots of money. that being said, money is still a major concern for me, as my shopping habits will have to be greatly decreased and i will have to grow up and stop living in my fantasy land. but my excitement and readiness to leave this place is so great, that nothing else surpasses it. drake is the perfect fit and the experiences that await me there, i cant even begin to explain.

these past months have been filled with coffee, shopping, fashion shows, models, singers, dancers, actors and a workshop at the minnesota opera. i died when i got invited to do that. i feel like im in a dream most of the time. still waiting for someone to pinch me and tell me that all of this isnt happening. im also beginning to reach a point where i'm comfortable with myself again. after having mom take off with the kids for san antonio and having to move in with dad, i felt a feeling of upheaval (which is not foreign for me at all, but a feeling that had been repressed for awhile. i had to adapt to another house, another set of rules, another set of ideas. we are all starting to get used to each other and the way we live. i am trying to be less critical of myself and of those around me. i feel better than i have for a long time, so hopefully its working.

im sure i've forgotten something, but i will write again soon. uptown calls :]

thanks for reading my scrambled thoughts loves.

xo:mwah. kyle

ohh teenage hopes, arrive at your door. left you with nothing, and they want some more...

i'm contemplating buying this print. to put it in my room at home and eventually at college. its beautiful, its in support of minneapolis artists, and its twiggy. :]

i continually make efforts in attempts to write about all thats been happening lately (and thats A LOT) but i seem to continually do it at the in opportune moment. i promise, soon i will sit and write for hours about my crazy life. not like anybodys really interested anyway, but it would be good to write down and document. get ready for a MOTHER of a blog post.

i am so tired.

xo:mwah. kyle.

"poor old cat. poor slob. poor slob without a name..." - Holly Golightly

im going to watch this tonight :]

i have like two seconds to jot something down. i promise i will do a EPIC biography length post to catch up on my rapid life very soon.

i had to share a conversation that i had with my mother this morning on the telephone.

i told her some of the big news in my life (i get to workshop a show next week @ the MOC and see a fashion show tonight), to which she responded:

Mother: Kyle, you seem to be leading a very cosmopolitan life

Me: I know. I kindof feel like Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City

made my life :] xo:mwah, talk to you staunch characters soon...

but the time has come, to move along...

timely enough, the lyrics from the KT Tunstall song "Other Side of The World" came on in time for this blog post (ie. that's what the post title is from). after months of heavy subject matter and stresses in my life, the fog is finally starting to lift and it is time for a new beginning.

my mother and i decided this morning that it is time for us to part ways, and for me to go live permanently with my dad until i go off to college. i had been thinking a lot about this personally, for quite awhile, but the conversation this morning put a lot of personal thoughts out in the open. "its time for the Kyle and Mom show to end.." she said. "It's just time." we both have to think of whats best for us as individuals. i need to be in a focus driven environment, where i can enjoy my senior year and have people to enjoy it with me. she needs to focus on the renewal of life for her family, which for the time being i will detach from for a while. we talked about how our new home had become a toxic place, with no real positive memories formed in it. i only remember the negative memories from this house, because thats all i've had to live with for the past months. its also very hard for me to watch her and drew so upset. so, this is for them as much as it is for me. we all need to move on and reach a new sense of grounding somewhere else.

its so nice to finally feel like your seeing clearly again. i've been in a metaphoric fog for such a long time and it shows in my face, body and words lately. i've been breaking out more than usual (which is VERY uncommon for me), i look tired constantly, and am either not eating or binge eating (which needs to find a medium somwhere). i also feel like i've lost connection with many people, because i tend to put up my wall when stuff like this happens. but it finally feels like kyle is coming back, and the sun will be shining soon.

as they sing in our latest prelude song from "In The Heights"......

just. breathe.

xo:mwah. kyle.

for linnea.

to my insightful friend. who has had those late night, novel long text or facebook conversations on the difficulties of life...

i love you. i can't wait to see your name on the pages of my monthly vogues.

come home to me, so we can watch movies, discuss fashion, shop with no money and go get coffees :]

xo:mwah. your friend, kyle.

"if the whole world had the lighting of a well lit restaurant bathroom, it would be a much better place"

okay, well after the epitome of a week from hell, i have finally reached a point where i feel i am beginning to regain touch with humanity. i completely shut myself out from stress and overwork. this is what my life will be like once in the theater world, so i better get used to it. lets enjoy the moments of solitude while we can, and i'll get you up to speed on my crazy life.

the picture above is from the movie 'An Education' starring a host of wonderful people, including the fabulously talented Carey Mulligan [dating shia lebouf]....i saw this movie last saturday after a day of dancing for show choir. it was one of those fabulous Minneapolis evenings where you spend way to much money on dinner and go to a small inexpensive movie theater where you can buy a ticket and snacks for the price of a ticket at a snooty movie theater. i went with my friend, the lovely and talented Laryssa Shoeck, and we discussed life in all its highs and lows. we are both working on choosing the school that will nurture our love for performing, so we had quite a long discussion....and a VERY expensive tab at the end of dinner (for two 18 year olds anyway).

so, this week....my parents and the kids were out of town in san antonio...and to my surprise, i was rarely home to enjoy the solitude....because of all the chaos that is my life these days. the week began with tryouts for the spring show, everybody loves opal. its an adorably, inappropriate show about a gang of con-artists running from the law. they end up living with an old recluse, living in a depleting mansion, on the edge of a dump (GREY GARDENS!!!!! hahahah)....they try to kill her for her insurance throughout most of the play, and end up falling in love with this lovable, old woman. i get to be a fat, balding con-man with a brooklyn accent...what could be more fun i ask you? Wednesday was our first rehearsal. Thursday we had sections for one act....got 2nd. we were professional at the competition about it, but needless to say...when we got on the bus the gloves came off. we had a wonderful show this year, and i think our whole little "family" was sad to see it end and have the knowledge that we wouldn't be going to state. Friday we got to work with the amazing Morten Lauridson. he is world renowned and i so loved working with him. it was an amazing experience...i just don't think a lot of people in our choir grasped the honor that came with being invited to that. its a big deal when a choir from the "boonies" is invited to perform with the big league city schools...and i could see our choir directors irritation with some of the students who really didn't get the gravity of the situation. anyway, i wont dwell....saturday was the all day emotion rehearsal...i will say that i honestly think that if i wasn't taking a gym class, that day could have had dire consequences for my body :P i drove with leah and brit to drake on sunday....we stopped and had mcdonalds and cold stone (which all of us HEAVILY regretted later, too much grease and sugar for a long car ride in the snow). i had my audition this morning....i don't know exactly how i felt about it. it seemed sub-par due to the mass chaos of my life right now, which is a disappointment....but i suppose thats all i can do at this point. i hope my love for theater shone through...because as i sit here at the drake starbucks watching the snow fall, and completely enjoying the fact that i don't HAVE to worry about anything until i get home tomorrow night, this IS where i belong.

i took a nap for the first time in months today. i enjoyed it more than words can express. its great regaining touch with reality. remembering that the world isn't really that bad after all.

night lovelies. enjoy the snow. talk to you soon :]

xo:mwah. kyle.

new obsession.

she's one of my favorite people to find randomly through all different sorts of media. she is so multi-talented & she's FRENCH! charlotte gainsbourg.

she is in a movie i love about the many personalities/lives of Bob Dylan called I'm Not There. I knew she could sing, because she had a track on the soundtrack....but it wasn't until i found her on iTunes w/ her new cd IRM, that i knew what a truly unique sound she had. also, a few months back, i was flipping through a vogue, only to find a spread on her and her sister in that issue. she is quite frequently in vogue as a matter of fact, due to her many abilities and obvious love of art and fashion.

need i say more? check her out. what can't she do?

hello gorgeous.

as i'm watching funny girl...

i love barbara streisand. one of the greatest voices and talents of our time.

watch this movie if you've never seen it. its the best :]

goodbye britney (1977-2009)

i was watching drop dead gorgeous ["peter's gay......GAYYY!"] the other day, and realized how much i'm gonna miss seeing her in movies. another beautiful being lost to drugs.

goodbye gorgeous. you were so talented. and will be missed.

winning the battle. [ahhh, sweet victory]

i have always found images to be a fascinating way to capture the era you're in, or look back on one you wish to have been in. i find myself wishing that i had been born in the 1960's like my parents quite often. while i was searching sixties images on gooogle today, i found this and it caught my attention: its a photo out of a 1960's Vogue article...go figure :P such an abundance of life back then...the music, the fashion, the movies.....it was all so unbelievably raw and in the moment....and besides that, it looked like a hell of a lot of fun.

well, its time to play catch up...since we last spoke [wrote...hahah] i won the battle for my macbook pro. i prepared a many page presentation, researched and did A LOT of explaining and ended up being able to go pick out my "baby" that weekend. i didn't think it was possible to love something this much. and as i have no love life and don't plan on it for a while, this can fill the void :) it does EVERYTHING! and i will use all through college and beyond....i hear their known to last for a long time.

in addition to that excitement, the past few months have just really been a roller coaster. the holidays were wonderful (dry erase board, audrey artwork, many cds, MARY POPPINS, uggs, so many wonderful family memories) and flew by. i won the Mini Mets competition in the class [Prelude] that i take in the cities. and just for the record, i didn't feel confident about how that performance went, so the information that follows was a COMPLETE shock. as a result of that, i got to record two musical theater pieces at Wild Sound Studios, Minneapolis. it was a surreal experience for a person who thought they'd never make it to a recording studio, especially at 18. prep for, what feels like, millions of auditions for scholarships, entrance to programs, etc. fluctuating weight as usual, and have had to cut my spending greatly because i spent my own money on the computer and really depleted all future spending money (well, for the time being anyway).

i think the best news i received over the holidays and the time that passed since then, was my acceptance to drake. i felt after my interview that i may not have had the chance that i thought.....but as it turns out, i couldn't have been more wrong. i got it on christmas eve, what a christmas present, eh?! the other UNBELIEVABLE piece of news, was also from drake. i received a letter (that i NEVER expected) saying that i had qualified for the Presidential Scholarship for $36,000 to be spread out over the four years (about $9,000 a yr)!! that was only for my grades (which to be honest, are only slightly above average, if even that)....hopefully i will qualify for the scholarship that goes along with the BFA audition (Feb 8th!!).

one act is going fabulously and i am so glad i chose not to skip it this year. the show is adorable....sideways stories from wayside school. we are a bunch of crazy kids (about 4th grade age) and our director has such an eye for theater, that i really feel we have the potential to go to state. i don't recall ever having that confidence about a show before. i am so excited...and its just been a blast. my character, myron, is the complete "pot-stirrer" (as my mother would 'coin' it)....making promises to never do something again, and then do it 5 seconds later). come see it if you're in town january 29th at 7:30. its only a half hour long....so it wouldn't dominate your evening.

but besides a bit of family drama (normal in either household) and the constant senior stress, everything is about where it should be. it amuses me that as an underclassmen, i never really understand why the seniors were always so strung out about everything. i think its one of those coming of age things, that you really don't completely understand until you're COMPLETELY immersed in it.

seeing as i've written you a novel, i'll end this bipolar musing. hahah, much love. :]

xo:mwah. kyle