but the time has come, to move along...

timely enough, the lyrics from the KT Tunstall song "Other Side of The World" came on in time for this blog post (ie. that's what the post title is from). after months of heavy subject matter and stresses in my life, the fog is finally starting to lift and it is time for a new beginning.

my mother and i decided this morning that it is time for us to part ways, and for me to go live permanently with my dad until i go off to college. i had been thinking a lot about this personally, for quite awhile, but the conversation this morning put a lot of personal thoughts out in the open. "its time for the Kyle and Mom show to end.." she said. "It's just time." we both have to think of whats best for us as individuals. i need to be in a focus driven environment, where i can enjoy my senior year and have people to enjoy it with me. she needs to focus on the renewal of life for her family, which for the time being i will detach from for a while. we talked about how our new home had become a toxic place, with no real positive memories formed in it. i only remember the negative memories from this house, because thats all i've had to live with for the past months. its also very hard for me to watch her and drew so upset. so, this is for them as much as it is for me. we all need to move on and reach a new sense of grounding somewhere else.

its so nice to finally feel like your seeing clearly again. i've been in a metaphoric fog for such a long time and it shows in my face, body and words lately. i've been breaking out more than usual (which is VERY uncommon for me), i look tired constantly, and am either not eating or binge eating (which needs to find a medium somwhere). i also feel like i've lost connection with many people, because i tend to put up my wall when stuff like this happens. but it finally feels like kyle is coming back, and the sun will be shining soon.

as they sing in our latest prelude song from "In The Heights"......

just. breathe.

xo:mwah. kyle.

for linnea.

to my insightful friend. who has had those late night, novel long text or facebook conversations on the difficulties of life...

i love you. i can't wait to see your name on the pages of my monthly vogues.

come home to me, so we can watch movies, discuss fashion, shop with no money and go get coffees :]

xo:mwah. your friend, kyle.

"if the whole world had the lighting of a well lit restaurant bathroom, it would be a much better place"

okay, well after the epitome of a week from hell, i have finally reached a point where i feel i am beginning to regain touch with humanity. i completely shut myself out from stress and overwork. this is what my life will be like once in the theater world, so i better get used to it. lets enjoy the moments of solitude while we can, and i'll get you up to speed on my crazy life.

the picture above is from the movie 'An Education' starring a host of wonderful people, including the fabulously talented Carey Mulligan [dating shia lebouf]....i saw this movie last saturday after a day of dancing for show choir. it was one of those fabulous Minneapolis evenings where you spend way to much money on dinner and go to a small inexpensive movie theater where you can buy a ticket and snacks for the price of a ticket at a snooty movie theater. i went with my friend, the lovely and talented Laryssa Shoeck, and we discussed life in all its highs and lows. we are both working on choosing the school that will nurture our love for performing, so we had quite a long discussion....and a VERY expensive tab at the end of dinner (for two 18 year olds anyway).

so, this week....my parents and the kids were out of town in san antonio...and to my surprise, i was rarely home to enjoy the solitude....because of all the chaos that is my life these days. the week began with tryouts for the spring show, everybody loves opal. its an adorably, inappropriate show about a gang of con-artists running from the law. they end up living with an old recluse, living in a depleting mansion, on the edge of a dump (GREY GARDENS!!!!! hahahah)....they try to kill her for her insurance throughout most of the play, and end up falling in love with this lovable, old woman. i get to be a fat, balding con-man with a brooklyn accent...what could be more fun i ask you? Wednesday was our first rehearsal. Thursday we had sections for one act....got 2nd. we were professional at the competition about it, but needless to say...when we got on the bus the gloves came off. we had a wonderful show this year, and i think our whole little "family" was sad to see it end and have the knowledge that we wouldn't be going to state. Friday we got to work with the amazing Morten Lauridson. he is world renowned and i so loved working with him. it was an amazing experience...i just don't think a lot of people in our choir grasped the honor that came with being invited to that. its a big deal when a choir from the "boonies" is invited to perform with the big league city schools...and i could see our choir directors irritation with some of the students who really didn't get the gravity of the situation. anyway, i wont dwell....saturday was the all day emotion rehearsal...i will say that i honestly think that if i wasn't taking a gym class, that day could have had dire consequences for my body :P i drove with leah and brit to drake on sunday....we stopped and had mcdonalds and cold stone (which all of us HEAVILY regretted later, too much grease and sugar for a long car ride in the snow). i had my audition this morning....i don't know exactly how i felt about it. it seemed sub-par due to the mass chaos of my life right now, which is a disappointment....but i suppose thats all i can do at this point. i hope my love for theater shone through...because as i sit here at the drake starbucks watching the snow fall, and completely enjoying the fact that i don't HAVE to worry about anything until i get home tomorrow night, this IS where i belong.

i took a nap for the first time in months today. i enjoyed it more than words can express. its great regaining touch with reality. remembering that the world isn't really that bad after all.

night lovelies. enjoy the snow. talk to you soon :]

xo:mwah. kyle.

new obsession.

she's one of my favorite people to find randomly through all different sorts of media. she is so multi-talented & she's FRENCH! charlotte gainsbourg.

she is in a movie i love about the many personalities/lives of Bob Dylan called I'm Not There. I knew she could sing, because she had a track on the soundtrack....but it wasn't until i found her on iTunes w/ her new cd IRM, that i knew what a truly unique sound she had. also, a few months back, i was flipping through a vogue, only to find a spread on her and her sister in that issue. she is quite frequently in vogue as a matter of fact, due to her many abilities and obvious love of art and fashion.

need i say more? check her out. what can't she do?

hello gorgeous.

as i'm watching funny girl...

i love barbara streisand. one of the greatest voices and talents of our time.

watch this movie if you've never seen it. its the best :]

goodbye britney (1977-2009)

i was watching drop dead gorgeous ["peter's gay......GAYYY!"] the other day, and realized how much i'm gonna miss seeing her in movies. another beautiful being lost to drugs.

goodbye gorgeous. you were so talented. and will be missed.

winning the battle. [ahhh, sweet victory]

i have always found images to be a fascinating way to capture the era you're in, or look back on one you wish to have been in. i find myself wishing that i had been born in the 1960's like my parents quite often. while i was searching sixties images on gooogle today, i found this and it caught my attention: its a photo out of a 1960's Vogue article...go figure :P such an abundance of life back then...the music, the fashion, the movies.....it was all so unbelievably raw and in the moment....and besides that, it looked like a hell of a lot of fun.

well, its time to play catch up...since we last spoke [wrote...hahah] i won the battle for my macbook pro. i prepared a many page presentation, researched and did A LOT of explaining and ended up being able to go pick out my "baby" that weekend. i didn't think it was possible to love something this much. and as i have no love life and don't plan on it for a while, this can fill the void :) it does EVERYTHING! and i will use all through college and beyond....i hear their known to last for a long time.

in addition to that excitement, the past few months have just really been a roller coaster. the holidays were wonderful (dry erase board, audrey artwork, many cds, MARY POPPINS, uggs, so many wonderful family memories) and flew by. i won the Mini Mets competition in the class [Prelude] that i take in the cities. and just for the record, i didn't feel confident about how that performance went, so the information that follows was a COMPLETE shock. as a result of that, i got to record two musical theater pieces at Wild Sound Studios, Minneapolis. it was a surreal experience for a person who thought they'd never make it to a recording studio, especially at 18. prep for, what feels like, millions of auditions for scholarships, entrance to programs, etc. fluctuating weight as usual, and have had to cut my spending greatly because i spent my own money on the computer and really depleted all future spending money (well, for the time being anyway).

i think the best news i received over the holidays and the time that passed since then, was my acceptance to drake. i felt after my interview that i may not have had the chance that i thought.....but as it turns out, i couldn't have been more wrong. i got it on christmas eve, what a christmas present, eh?! the other UNBELIEVABLE piece of news, was also from drake. i received a letter (that i NEVER expected) saying that i had qualified for the Presidential Scholarship for $36,000 to be spread out over the four years (about $9,000 a yr)!! that was only for my grades (which to be honest, are only slightly above average, if even that)....hopefully i will qualify for the scholarship that goes along with the BFA audition (Feb 8th!!).

one act is going fabulously and i am so glad i chose not to skip it this year. the show is adorable....sideways stories from wayside school. we are a bunch of crazy kids (about 4th grade age) and our director has such an eye for theater, that i really feel we have the potential to go to state. i don't recall ever having that confidence about a show before. i am so excited...and its just been a blast. my character, myron, is the complete "pot-stirrer" (as my mother would 'coin' it)....making promises to never do something again, and then do it 5 seconds later). come see it if you're in town january 29th at 7:30. its only a half hour long....so it wouldn't dominate your evening.

but besides a bit of family drama (normal in either household) and the constant senior stress, everything is about where it should be. it amuses me that as an underclassmen, i never really understand why the seniors were always so strung out about everything. i think its one of those coming of age things, that you really don't completely understand until you're COMPLETELY immersed in it.

seeing as i've written you a novel, i'll end this bipolar musing. hahah, much love. :]

xo:mwah. kyle